Beautiful
by Katie 3.16
“Trapped in this world, I can’t be myself. If I were invisible would you find just what you’re hoping to see? ‘Cause there’s so much more; more than you can catch in a glance. Take a moment, I’m giving you the chance to see all of me, all of me; not just what you wanted to see, but all of me…” These words swirled around my head and pierced through my dreams as I lay asleep on a cold, hard floor early one morning in Nashville, Tennessee. Just a few months earlier, my brother, Brian, and I had taken a huge leap of faith and decided to leave our home in Michigan, and produce a new album for our Christian Pop/R&B group, 3·16 with a producer in Nashville, the Christian music industry’s capital. Although the road trips necessary to complete the project would be exhausting, I remember our excitement, anticipation, and anxiety, because we believed it was God’s favor that had led us on this journey.
It was on our second 10-hour treck back in October 2004 that God gave me the song, “Beautiful.” Suddenly jarred awake by these lines of lyrics in my head, I haphazardly staggered to a desk, located a pen and paper, and wrote them down.
As I began writing, the words came faster and faster. I knew the Lord was moving through me, and I wanted to capture all He had to say. When I finished scribbling, I skimmed across the paper and began reading, “God made me beautiful like a perfect lullaby, and as I’m rocked to sleep each night, He whispers, ‘Baby girl, don’t cry. There’s so much more to you than this world will ever see; you and I both know you’re the best you there’ll ever be.’” I sat there in awe of the words that spelled out so much of my life’s story. It was at that moment that the Creator of the universe took it upon Himself to remind me that He was there and listening. My faithful Heavenly Father had awakened me to give me a gift: “Beautiful.” He knew I was tired of swimming in a sea of self-condemning judgement and fear; He knew I was tired of battling the negative thoughts about myself; He knew I wanted to be rescued. It was time to be freed.
My struggles with self-image had gone on for many years. Since the age of 8, I had dedicated my life to the art of dance, and I danced professionally until the summer of 2002 when the Lord called Brian and me to the ministry of 3·16. I grew up in front of walls of mirrors and bright spotlights. You can’t easily hide from mirrors, not to mention the thousands of eyes watching you. In dance, your body is not only your instrument and artistic medium, it is also the art. Unlike a painter, quietly standing in the background as people admire his masterpiece, there is nothing to divert the audience’s attention from the body of a dancer.
Your body, facial expressions, costume, leg lines and extensions, and feet must all be perfect. It’s a lot to live up to! There is also the ever-present pressure from company directors, choreographers, and instructors to maintain a thin figure. When a person’s career, livelihood, and dreams are on the line, drastic measures sometimes seem like the only option!
Growing up in this environment, I never thought anything of the destructive thoughts in my mind. I now realize that I had an unhealthy, skewed image of myself. Although I knew the attributes God had made me with gave me true importance, I still believed physical appearance and beauty were important ways to measure my self-worth.
What do you see when you look into the mirror? Are there a million and one little things you wish you could change? Are there times you can barely stand to look?
The second verse continues with God whispering, “Look in My mirror; I’ll show you just what I see; nothing more perfect this side of eternity. So there’s no reason for you to turn your face from Me…” Can you hear Him whispering to you? He wants you to see yourself through His eyes and not this world’s. Just as the words of the chorus say, “There’s so much more to you than this world will ever see, you and I both know you’re the best you there’ll ever be.” You may find yourself comparing the body types, hair styles, faces, or clothes of other girls and women to your own. But the truth is, even if you think you like what you see in them better than what you see in your mirror every day, they’ll never be you. Think about that: God made you uniquely beautiful!
I’ll be the first to tell you I am not perfect. I wish I could tell you that I don’t think those old thoughts anymore, or that I’ve completely moved past measuring my worth by my physical appearance, but I can’t. It’s a constant journey of healing the heart and mind, one I believe all women, to some extent, must take. All I can do is share my story and point you to the One - the One who listens, understands, and loves me as no one else can; the One who hears my heart’s cries and wipes my tears away; the One who gives me the grace to get through each day; the One who made me the way I am, and ultimately died for me because He loves me that much. His name is Jesus Christ, and His Spirit is continually freeing me. I am learning that when I take my eyes off my own reflection and focus them on the cross of my Savior and the price He paid for me, everything can be right again. I’m coming to a place where I can praise God for the way He made me and thank Him for all I have. He wants to give me an abundant life free from the weight of judgement, restrictions, and negative self-image. He has helped me grow in this area by placing people in my life to love, comfort, and lift me up, while constantly reminding me of my significance and beauty in Christ’s eyes.
It’s time we all dared to look into the mirror with confidence to admire God’s unique creation. Reflect on all of the beautiful characteristics that make up the one and only “you.” Thank Him for your talents, personality, healthy body and mind, family, friends, and most of all, for His love that is like the love of no other.
God doesn’t make mistakes. He made each and every part of you in His image. He knows the exact number of hairs on your head, and not a tear falls from your eye without His knowledge. He knows you better than you know yourself, and even in the midst of your struggles, He is there, loving you and waiting for you to turn to Him. Don’t hide from Him. Allow Him to love you; allow Him to show you how beautiful you are in every way.
I know how dark and lonely it can be living in a world of low self-esteem, but you are not alone. There are so many girls and women who struggle just like you and I do. The enemy of your soul wants you to live in isolation and despair, but the Lover of your soul wants you to simply reach out and take His hand so He can pull you out of the darkness. Feel His loving arms wrapping around you as He wipes the tears from your eyes, softly whispering, “I made you beautiful.”
To listen to “Beautiful” or to pick up your copy of At the Gate, check out 3·16 at www.316LIVE.com.
Published April 26, 2007. All rights reserved.